The Lord's Name in Vain

Remember the worst movie that you have ever seen in your lifetime. Imaging what you felt. And then quadruple that feeling, take it to power 32, cover it with thorns, and shove it up a place inaccesible to others. Now imagine this feeling, and hold on to the thought while I bring you to terms with the gross violation of senile thoughts, I suffered at Comedy Store.

Flashback:

Yesterday night, one of my dearest friends, DK, calls me up at night and says, “Bhaai kal Tom Alter, Cyrus Dastur, ka ek play hai Comedy store pe. Directed by Anurag-STUD-Kashyap. Chalna hai?”

“Oh fu**, Sahi. Lets go yaar.”

Fast forward 12 hours.

Sitting in the best possible seats at Comedy store, DK says,” Bhaai feel toh hai iss jagah me”. I looked at him and waved my head in appreciation. Tom Alter stood to the right of where I was seated, all set to go on stage.

Then began the mass violation. I, for the first time in life, have fallen short of words to describe the stupidity of that play.

“When God said Cheers!”

One, God(Alter), was trying so hard to be a cool god, saying “cheers”, at the end of every line, or what he thought of , would be punches.(Punches they were actually, to our face). Two, at so many times in the play, I felt both had forgotten their dialogues, and tried to bullshit their way out of it, with even stupider dialogues than the script. Do they think the audience is dumb?. Cyrus Dastur was acting like the sloth from Ice Age. My 3 yr old cousin sis would pull off a better “Human being”(the role he was trying to play). Three, There was no fu**ing point of the play. I mean you should arrive some place, or make it funny, or interesting, or thought provoking, or else, you must be Nolan to leave us hanging, and in thought. But here was neither. We had no sense of where it ended, and how. (Thank God(Alter), It ended atleast!).

Do these people take us to be fools. You bloody well respect the fu**ing 560 bucks I paid for the play. Hence the length of this post is an exact 560 words. Imagine a student, who’s surviving on Pocket money, to shell out 10% , on this bullshit. DK n I would have put up a better comedy show, set aside this fu**ing play. For this, alone, I should be entitled to a money back, even if I leave out the mental trauma, and emotional damage they did to me, by running this play. There was nothing funny in this play. Not even one good line.

My first time at Comedy Store, and Dastur, Alter, and Kashyap, ruined it for me. I was scarred for life, the moment I stepped out of that pseudo-theatre they’ve tried to construct. Ill go to the extent of saying “Kya SuperCool Hain Ham”, would get an Oscar, if the level of humour were to be compared between the two. That’s how disgusting it was. My insides still cringe at the thought of that play. I say, whoever wants to commit suicide, go watch “When God said Cheers”. After that, go cheer some teams at MUFC, only that brought some respite to the anarchy caused by the play inside my head.

Damn You Comedy Store for allowing such an atrocity.